Well, I was in the car with my wife and I told her about the email conversation and my decision to not attend the church anymore. The conversation ended up making me feel even more alone. I had hoped that she was sort of backing me, but it seems that she has only been going along with me because I am the head of the house, she doesn't really belive much of what I say. She told me that she told my mom how she cried when I told her about Christmas and my mom told her that I am being "legalistic". She went on to say things like, "God knows our hearts, so why does it matter if we celebrate his birthday on a pagan holiday or not?" Basically her argument boiled down to, "If I love God, then what does it matter what we do?"

She also talked about her needing church for fellowship and acountability. She needs to hear a pastor preach to get anything out of scripture, even reading on her own doesn't work for her. I told her that I wanted us to do a study on the Sabbath and she said, "But your not a pastor."

I know many of you deal with the same sorts of things, but have you dealt with it from your spouse? How do you deal with it? In anything, she doesn't really listen to me, she needs to hear it from someone else or come to a conclusion on her own. But, she won't read anything that would help her do that. She says she can't understand scripture. She just listens to what she has always heard from men.

So, I guess all I can ask is that you continue to pray.

Hi Icy.

Sorry about your wife not getitng you. I guess I just wanted to offer some practical tips from a wifely point of view! :

-Dont keep going on about it, I know its tempting to try and argue your point at every opportunity, but she will not listen unless she wants to. Wait for her to ask you things.

-When she asks you questions, dont be defensive or argumentative - we used to fight about this stuff, and it was basically becasue I needed to ask lots of questions to clarify in my own mind what Rob was talking about. I wasnt having a go at him, just asking, when he got defensive I stopped listening! Think before you speak.

-love your old church - there is nothing more repelling than someone who is always slagging off their old church, pastor, whatever. Speak about them with love. It is not their fault they dont understand. Keep your cynicism, negativity under control. When she goes to church ask her how it was, and dont destroy everything she says, if she comes back and says she was totally blessed during communion, dont rip her experience apart by moaning on about it been pagan or whatever.

-Love your wife, understand that she thinks differently and is on a journey towards God just as you are. Youre on a different page right now but you are reading the same book. Don't spoil her ending, she wants to get there on her own.

Be an example: if she can see that you are moving on with God, then she will hunger for it. Draw closer to Yahweh, if you're experience is anything like Rob's she'll see a positive difference in you. (Rob started doing the washing up, talking lovingly about people he had previously no time for, instigating prayer time at home, etc.)

Yahweh has got her, and in time she will get this, be patient, keep praying tha both of you will learn more and know Him more! :)

Juski,

That is great advise! It really brings the point home when you are dealing with two people who have committed to loving each other and yet find themselves in different place! Thanks!!

And I am continuing to ask Yah to develop all of us as we go about life in a different way then we all previously might have planned!

Blessings

CK:
I'm wondering if you are still involved in a church? Your post was obviously from a position of love and it resonated well with me. My position may be somewhat unique in that I came to the Truth from atheism less than a year ago. YY was instrumental. but as I continued to grow and read Scriptures - all the while loving Yah primarily from my keyboard, an emptiness and yearning began growing in me; a longing for community, a need to share. Recently, my wife and I found a church that we find to be pretty solid. Yeah, they tabernacle on Sunday. I still observe the Sabbath and then commune with brothers and sisters on Sunday. I like it. I think it does me a world of good. It is engagement. I'm active in two Bible studies and I think my contributions are having a positive effect. I know the interaction is having a positive effect on me. It is also bringing my entire family closer to God. I know that most everyone on this site has been walking in the right direction far longer than I have and am grateful for the insights and patience that people here have shown me. I understand how people like Tiffany have reached a point of utter frustration with their church and with organized religion in general, but for me, the church experience came second and has filled a great void. We have found a solid church and no one there is doing anything other than loving God. I like it and I think I need it. Perhaps they even need me. So at least for now, it's where I think I need to be

hey i'm new to this part of the site... this is great! my mother and father were co-pastors of a church. my mother has completely abandoned the idea. so have i. i happen to work at a church though...lol it reminds me of the story of naaman. i just ask YHWH to forgive me. church is becoming more and more the obvious evil that it seemed to be.... my family has been having meetings on the sabbath. we started studying in YY and now we're teaching up a storm! just so you all know, you have a brother in alabama that supports you. the whore of babylon is fallen! come out of her my people!

Juski, just to let you know that your experiences are not entirely unique. Being part of the RCC with a strict father, much had to be surpressed on my part. Yet, I still struck out on my own to learn and understand and fellowship with others as best as possible. And yet again I still respected my parents and took them to attend mass and attended along with them. Of course the heart and mind was not there. When my father died a few years ago, I was sad in so many ways but felt a little relieved as some pressure had been lifted.

Again, out of love for my mother, I still took her to attend mass whenever possible yet tell her of Yahweh and Yahushua, especially in her last months when she was suffering from cancer. Today, I have one brother and one sister, both with their own families. My thoughts are to introduce the Truth to them slowly and gently and wean them off the RCC doctrines. I do not want to be cut off from them. But I do not attend RCC events or celebrate false feasts. My thoughts are that sometimes all we can do is to share and then move on. If at all, sometimes we have to shake the dust off the sandals.

One thing I have learnt over the past 20 years is that those who really want the Truth will not shy away from it when it is presented. The Ruach will move them. No amount of nudging and pushing on our part will move them if they are not searching. Our task seems to be to grow patiently ourselves and share our experiences and the Truth about our Creator and Saviour, their real identities, so that those who are truly of His flock will have a chance to answer.

Perhaps more explicitly, our task is that we are to find each other and nourish each other and love each other to set examples as true believers so that the world may notice us. We do not do the calling, neither do we save. We do nothing other than to let the Ruach work through us and share the Word and do as we understand so that we may find more like us.

My brother-in-law is of the firm belief that all one needs to do is to belief and confess Jesus Christ to be saved. He says that the Law does not save and is irrelevant today. That the Feasts are for Jews. He invites us over for Christmas and Easter religiously in the hope of fostering a better relationship so that we may join his church. I tell him that we keep the Law not to be saved but because we are called to do so after receiving the Ruach and he gets confused. I tell him that observing pagan feasts in disguise does not score points with the Creator and he says that there's nothing wrong in celebrating birthdays, especially that of the Saviour. So you see, those whose eyes are closed can only be opened by Yahuweh, the things of the Ruach can only be made known through the Ruach.

So what are we to do? Keep searching for Truth and for each other. It is much easier to do this today than in the past. Perhaps one day we'll find the time to go to Manchester, but I think it much easier for you to come to Kuala Lumpur! ;-)

congradulatios, a wise man indeed you are!