Hi. .I am new here and would really appreciate some feedback from you very knowledgeable people. I have been married for 32 years and have only recently discovered the truth about Yahweh, Yahushua and that Christianity is wrong in parts. When I found out that Jesus was not His real name, I was completely floored. I now try to listen to YadaYahweh radio and read as much as I can by Yada and KP. The things I have learned in a short time is mind-blowing. Unfortunately, trying to talk about Christianity to my family was something I found hard to do...they would not listen to me and believe that I was "a bible basher". What do I do now?
How can I turn around and tell them that I was wrong in what I believed in and that they have to believe in something else I have come across? My wife is very hard minded and trying to get something across to her is extremely difficult if she has her mind made up about something. Trying to tell her I no longer want anything to do with Christmas as it is a Pagan festival has put me on the outside..she does not want me to "spoil it for the rest of us". What am I to do? If I cannot reach my family, which I doubt I can, am I to remove myself from here and continue to build my relationship with Yahweh on my own? I do not get much time to spend on the internet, so I apolgise if I cant do a "back and forth" conversation with you. Any help would be appreciated.
Many regards...dugdoo56

Hey Dug :)

Firstly welcome to the forums.

Yea its a little like a bomb dropping isn't it. I think the main thing you need to do right now is just take a step back and breath. The truth is awesome, and the actual message is incredibly detailed, but the most important thing is it isn't going to go away. You do have time right now, and best you learn more at the moment so you can make a useful discussion point than trying to show how wrong Christmas is. It took us a good few years to be able to move away from Christmas, this is the first year that we aren't actually going to anyone's house (either my wife's or my parents). Coming out of Babylon is a longer processes than some would think - yet I believe we could not have done it any faster.

Most wife's are strong minded, I know mine is - when they are right that's that lol Thankfully I was blessed with Jude as just before this voyage of discovery said "I want you to be the head of the house, especially regarding spiritual matters." That was great as it meant I could voice my concerns. I started my journey through the names too, but I started with Yahweh. Yahweh is a good one to talk about the errors of translations and the way people are trying to make it the Name that can not be either said or pronounced. Jesus for me came later, the problem I had with the name "Jesus" is that as a Christian it was all about him. I had fallen in love with Jesus and it was hard to realise that wasn't His Name. Yahuweh you can get round as the title "The Lord" is obviously not a name...

Other than that all I would say is be patient. Do Christmas as much as you have to, do Easter as much as you have to, stay in Church until you can not sit through the lies and false teaching without wanting to get up and tear the place apart.

Yah knows you, He knows what you think how you think it and how you feel - even before you think/feel it lol He knows you don't want to be doing that, but He also knows you are a little stuck right now. Yada I believe still "suffers" Christmas - His wife puts up a tree still I think. Ken has it as a day of family's getting together, they don't have decorations at home I don't think but they do not cut themself's of from the family.

My and my family for the first time this year are removing ourself s as much as we can. We had Christmas at the Feast of Tabernacles, and had family over then - for us I believe it is very important we stop as to be a light and example to our family.

So my conclusion? Don't stress :) Yah knows you, and He also knows the amount of information you now have to get your head around... He also knows your wife. Just love her as much as you can, and server her well - maybe she will see a difference in that too... It takes time, we might not have much left, but I think its enough :)

Welcome to the forum, Dug. And welcome to an exciting new life. If I may, allow me to offer a few "survival tips" that may help.

1) Keep in mind that we are not called to monastic isolation, but to be salt and light in the world---and especially within our own familes. So it becomes a matter of stategy: we must try to show Yahweh to the world in such a way that He becomes as attractive to them as He is to us. Something attracted you to Him; something happened to open your eyes to who He really is. Help others to see what you saw. You can't do that if you've broken off all communication with them.

2) Realize that we all walk at different speeds, and start our journeys at different times. All you can really ask of someone is that they be on the right path and moving in the right direction, and many "Christians" (though not all) fit that description. It becomes your job, then, to lead those who have not yet reached your place on the path---taking care not to get so far ahead of them that they can't see where you're going. Don't forget to turn around now and then and encourage those behind you. This isn't just about you, you know. It's also about them.

3) Keep in mind that love trumps knowledge. Knowledge is extremely important, but love is even more so. For me, that translates into things like trying to use a vocabulary that would honor God---use His name, Yahweh, in conversation in place of "the Lord," call "Jesus" Yahshua---but not insisting that others do so: don't chastise them for being behind you on the path; just encourage them to catch up. Make sure people know what you mean. Don't just throw out misunderstood words like "holy" or "repentance," but rather pepper your conversation with explanations (the point being that when they run across these concepts in their scripture reading, they'll have a better handle on what they mean). If we simply throw our the "standard" vocabulary and replace it with another, more correct one, we have not done our brothers and sisters any favors. Whatever you do, do it in love.

4) "Christian" holidays like Christmas and Easter can be a real problem for us older guys, because we spent our entire lives (until we discovered the awful truth) building wonderful memories and warm traditions around them---things that have absolutely nothing to do with religion or pagan histories, but with family bonding and mutual expressions of love. In my own case, it has taken years to gradually play the things down to where they just aren't significant any more. Part of the strategy has been to spread the "feeling" over the whole year. Buy your wife or kids presents for no apparent reason---maybe just because it's Tuesday; decorate equally for all the seasons, not just winter. For us, gathering for Christmas has largely been replaced by gathering for Thanksgiving (I realize that's a quintessentially American holiday). Be creative, and again do whatever you do in a spirit of love and compassion.

I could ramble on, but you get the idea. Let us be a bridge between our God and our brothers and sisters. I can think of no higher calling than to be a conduit through which someone might draw nearer to Yahweh. But I'll never be able to do that if I'm hogging all the light for myself.

kp

Hey Dug!

I sympathise with you mate. My wife is also fixed on her beliefs (she's an unbeliever), and what I've learnt is simply let her do her thing and I never force her to accept my beliefs (she doesn't like the fact I don't eat pork but I don't make a big fuss of it if she cooks bacon for herself or even uses the same pan for my eggs afterwards). She just recently put up a Christmas tree in our lounge and stuck a snowman up on the front door. I might give few mild objections/comments once in a while but I don't force her to bring them down. She knows where I stand on the matter, but I still love her, treat her with respect and let her do her thing.

You didn't mention if you wife's an unbeliever or a believer, but I take it she's a believer. If that's the case, we must remember that God didn't say anywhere that pefect knowledge of all of His way is what saves us, but trusting Him is what saves us. My advise is to love her and share your knowledge with her in as loving a manner as possible, remembering that you too were once in the same position as her. I always watch my words when I'm around my wife and I will only make a comment or do things when I'm absolutely sure what I'm doing is the right thing to do or say, especially hoping not to offend her or that leaves her in a state of shock-horror. For example, when I just began to understand the Torah I almost threw my wife's strogonoff in the bin because of the milk and meat combo, but since I wasn't sure I just left it. Thank Yah I didn't bin the food, since soon afterwards I came to realise that the milk and meat combo no-no is a traditional Jewish instruction (i think from the Talmud) and not a Torah instruction. We musn't forget that we are learning too, just as other believers are too. You don't have to shove a heavy barrier between you two that says "I'm right and you're wrong," which seems to be the case of many believers who come to accept the Torah as still being valid. My advise is to just take it slowly and remember that you're both on this walk together, though at different paces. If she's not a believer then the same principle applies: love and respect her and don't force your beliefs on her. And as KP said, be the salt of the earth and hopefully she'll come around to the same side you're on.

My friends (of the Apstolic-Prophetic Reformation movement who do happen to teach a bit on the Feasts but don't "observe" them) still believe in the Trinity understanding of God, believe in a burning Hell and Heaven as the only two afterlife destinations, use the name of Jesus, but does this mean they're unsaved? I personally wouldn't dare say no, instead I would say that they're on the same path towards Yahweh but just at a different stage. I can possibly see other forum members differing with me on this, but as long as we have one thing straight, we should share the truth in love and never force our ways upon someone else. Don't see yourself in opposition, but rather as a loving brother that cares for those dear to your heart.

Welcome dug, I read this before work today, and thought I would post something when I got home, but I can't really think of much to add to what everyone else has said, but I thought I would post anyways just to say hang in there, it may be hard, but it is so worth it.



IHS this sounds like a nightmare I had a few days ago.
It might be the first reality show where contestants are begging to be voted out.

I resemble none of those remarks. ;)

Looks like we have our first elimination, LOL

(BTW, James I would take that as a badge of honor!!)

I love this thread.

Dug -- you are not alone.
Lots of us in your shoes.

My wife is the type who digs in if you push too hard, so I'm learning patience.
(And trying to figure out how to gracefully get out of fixing the lights on the Ashera pole.)

Remember what "Observe" means and you will be fine. Trying to do it all is impossible but but observing - to look at carefully and understand - isn't. :)

Sorry Matt, but that was just a typo, don't know how I made it, but I;m willing to bet it had something to do with not enough coffee.

I gathered it was a typo, but I thought I'd use the opportunity and make a play with it. So I wonder what coffee they serve in the Catholic Church, probably some really cheap stuff? Anybody know?

Not to be a party pooper - but that's only Pauls opinion - and I don't think it lines up with Scripture too much... I am sure we looked into this a few weeks back? Does anyone remember the post?

Yea but if you married someone who disliked/hated Yah - then by the simple fact of you being married you vindicate them into eternal existence with Yah - that is against their will... so what is that all about. Taking wife's from other nations I don't have an issue with, but for one partner to force the eternal destination of someone seems a little odd too me...

Hello Dug and all you other brothers responding to this topic. I am new here as a participant, but have been studying here for over a year - what a blessing! As a wife, my situation is the opposite, my husband and our adult children have not reached the same position on the truth journey. But they are believers and I agree with all the wise and loving encouragement given here.

In struggling with this whole Christmas issue, I've been thinking of one example in Scripture that gives me some direction. The story of Naaman the Syrian in 2 Kings 5. After he was healed of leprosy through the prophet Elisha, he asked Yahweh's forgiveness when he - being a man under authority - had to enter the temple of his master's god as his master bowed down to Rimmon. Elisha told him to "go in peace". Yahushua used Naaman as an example in Luke 4:27. I understand this to demonstrate Yahweh's compassion toward us in these situations where we are in a great conflict, but in our hearts know and rejoice in the truth. All you scholar brothers please correct me if I am wrong! But this has helped me as a wife - under the authority of my husband - to respect my husband's authority but/and obey and rejoice in Yahweh's truth in my inner being.

I am praying for us all through these cunningly counterfeit idolatrous times!

danshelper

I agree Rob, it is a matter of stepping away, and that is different for everyone. I've been talking with my wife about this a lot, since it is that time of year. Personally I have reached the point where I no longer have issues with it, and no longer feel comfortable with it. my wife however is still having issues with not getting together with family, and a lot of the things her and her family do this time of year. She is trying to focus more on the things that they do this time of year that are not directly Christmasey, but she still wishes to get together with her family and a few other things, she acknowledges that she is trying to wane herself off it, and I'm okay with this, because I understand that this is very difficult for her, coming from her background, and how important family is to her. I know that I can't force her to give up anything, and it would be pointless if I did, I'm just trying to be there for her, and to help her.

I think that is the best we can do for anyone, is to be there and be understanding, but share with them as well. Everyone is different, what may be easy for you to give up, may be very difficult for someone else, and if your indifferent to that then you are likely to just push them away. But you can't just let someone you love stand in front of the train, to use Robs metaphor.

The general consensus here is that of how God's views the outward appearance of the marriage (i.e. clean) and its relation to God's view of the children as opposed to the eternal destination of the unbeliever.

But back to Christmas:

Since my wife's family have provided us with copious amounts of support I see it as an obligation to at least attend the Christmas Eve dinner. But thankfully most of them sort-of know my views already, since I'm not a fan of pork and unclean sea-food and especially since in the past they haven't found me near/under the Christmas tree nor celebrating and saying "Feliz Natal" to everybody. I have also once tried not to attend the event but that didn't go down well. Even as I plan to attend this year's party I certainly won't go and condemn them for what they do on the day, my hope is that by showing them love, respect and sharing some words of truth will be sufficient enough to help them find Yahshua before the Great Day of Yahweh. In Luke 14 we have Yahshua going to have a meal at a Pharisee's house, He used the opportunity to perform miracles and to share truth. I hope to share some truth, but usually by the time we get there people have already had a few too many, if you know what I mean.

Every day belongs to Yahweh and no sun-god has any legitimate claim to any day of the year. I personally don't mind attending, but I do put in a big effort not to honour Baal in any way.

That's definitely a miracle to be reckoned with but I probably won't even hear one single Christmas story since it's the last thing on their minds. Christmas Eve to this family is just an excuse to have really good food, plenty of alcohol (good wine and good whiskey) and getting a present.

I hate to be another party crasher in this topic, but I don't remember Abraham asking Yahuweh for a few more years to gently ease away from babylonian religion. Once Yahuweh asked Abraham to walk with Him, Abraham had to make a choice, and it didn't involve taking a wreath and christmas tree with him to make his family feel more comfortable. I don't remeber Hezekiah only removing a few sun god rituals and idols so that the people could ease into a relationship with Yah. The most loving thing we can do is completely break away from pagan observances and let everyone we can know why. I understand we live in a different time, but the examples remain the same. We shouldn't mandate what others do, but we also shouldn't be accepting of christmas elements. I can't stop my wife from putting up a wreath, but I can make sure she knows I don't approve. There isn't much time left. It's important that loved ones know where we stand. We are either with Yahuweh or not.

Love Noach

That sounds like good advice.

Thanks for the reinforcement here. This has been the approach that I have tried to take, I say tried I've probably not always been successful. It's hard for me to understand my wife's point of view sometimes, we have very different backgrounds. She comes from a very family oriented and religious background, so it is a lot harder for her to give up somethings, and I have to keep reminding myself of that, since for me it has not been that hard I don't know what she is going through. I know that she has a relationship with Yahuweh, so I don't worry about that, it's more that she feels very stressed out right now, struggling with things.

Juski - Our relationship with Yah is a family relationship, and doing the best we can in our own families by following his example can only make a positive difference further down the line. It seems like a very daunting task to me now to change my wife's perspective, but bit by bit and by relying on and asking for, His help, I feel that it's going to be OK. After all, I can only guess the outcome. He knows.

Danshelper - I seem to get away with saying nothing in response at all! If it's a family member, I plan to say something like "I'm glad we can be together" or something neutral like that. What comes out of your mouth reflects what's in your heart, so keep Him close when you choose your words, and I'm sure you'll not go far wrong.

Hi all...I am still struggling with this amazing truth I have come across. I told my wife..an unbeliever in anything spiritual, about Sunday worship yesterday and she "went right off" about how "this one says he is right and then another says no..I am right, and then another says no...I am right...I think it is all rubbish and just believe in nothing at all...then everybody will get on ok". This is what I am up against...hence the heading " back against the wall". I find it hard to bring any subject up regarding the Truth regarding Yahweh as I know the reaction I will get...so I just keep quiet. This is so frustrating for me..I just want to please Yahweh but am at a loss as to what to do. I am really alone in this here. Thankfully, I have this website and others that have had their "eyes" opened. I am now not bothered about anything else but trying to learn more about Yahweh and our Messiah Yahushua. Please keep the blogs coming in...I cant get enough!!!
Regards to all...Dugdoo56