Here is the response I sent:
Bishop,
I knew you would disapprove of a resignation via email, as you’ve stated your opinion on this before. I can admit that I selfishly wanted to forego a face to face meeting because 1 – I didn’t want to be compelled to defend my decision, so to speak, 2 – I knew it would be emotional for me and 3 – I present myself more clearly in writing.
Recently, I’ve become somewhat a “student of the church” as well. And, excuse my bluntness, but I’ve come to realize I don’t like it, and neither does God. Not (this church) specifically, “the institutionalized church” altogether. I view it as a bastion of religion and I’m no longer of the mind to embrace religion, a bucket into which Christianity falls for me. You may think I’m heretical at this point, but to the contrary, I’ve been reading, studying and finally understanding God’s Word more and more since I’ve slowly been unplugging from religious activity and seeking what God has to say about issues I’ve grappled with for basically my whole life…issues like:
• Why do Christians call the Son of God “Jesus” when that is not his given name, and is neither a translation nor a transliteration of his true and proper name? And yet we claim there is “power” in this name?
• Why do Christians claim “Jesus” is our perfect example, but we neither do what He did nor follow His instructions? Why aren’t we bothered by Paul’s complete dismantling and disregard for God’s Torah (teaching, not law to be meticulously kept) in Galatians, even though his position completely contradicts the words of God Himself (the Sermon on the mount is practically an ode to the Torah)?
• Why did “Jesus” come, observing and fulfilling the Torah (himself the fulfillment/embodiment of God’s instructions), then wait until after his death and resurrection to appear privately to Paul and give him a new revelation entirely counter to what He lived and taught amongst His own disciples?
• Whose idea was Sunday worship? God only ever designated one specific day as set-apart, and Christians completely ignore this?
• Why do we blatantly participate in intellectual dishonesty by telling ourselves that “the entire Bible” is the “inerrant Word of God” and that “Scripture” includes the “New Testament?”
• How was “Jesus” 100% God and 100% man…yet He died. The entirety of God can fit into a single human being? God died?
These are just a few of the questions that have bugged me; I have many more…but honestly I have always been too lazy to study. And I errantly accepted that there were things we should “just believe” and not worry about understanding. I find that the system and structure of Christianity/the church by its very nature discourages independent and personal study. For example, you have always encouraged all of us to study and know the Word for ourselves…but just by virtue of the fact that you are viewed as a “spiritual authority,” the natural inclination of the typical believer is to take YOU at YOUR word, then if we do actually bother to attempt to verify, that’s all we’re doing: simply looking for ways to verify a predetermined stance we have already accepted, and then engage in proof texting to support that stance. Church members in general don’t study the Word of God or even the Bible. They read portions of it, from time to time, but actual study isn’t happening for most. I believe you know this to be true.
So, I have finally resolved to get to know God for myself, and the journey so far has been scary but worth it. I’m hyper-aware that I’m not some special, enlightened pundit who is smarter than everybody, and knows the answers and everybody else is wrong. That’s not what I’m saying, and you would know better if I tried to imply such a thing anyway! I just want to know God for myself, and I’ve realized that He CAN and WANTS TO be known, not simply believed. He can be trusted and proven on the basis of His own reliability, not just the object of blind and ignorant faith. And although I can be a proud person at times, I promise you, Bishop, if I discover I’m wrong, I will run back, beg your forgiveness and fully expect that you would welcome me back because you love me, and you love people period. But to quote one Ronald Shider, “I know I’m right!”
I’m seeking God and I have to dedicate more time to this pursuit. I can’t “fit it in” around church activity. I have to dedicate myself fully to it, as I have been for the past several months. Respectfully, I have lots of issues with whomever wrote Hebrews, as so much of it contradicts the testimony of God, so I disagree that you have to answer to God concerning my whereabouts and the condition of my soul. To the contrary, God has given us free will precisely so that He can hold each of us accountable for our own relationship with Him, and because He is just, He will only judge those who deliberately lead His children away from Him and into deception. As long as you have not done that, you are not accountable to God should I choose to stray, although as I’ve said, that’s not at all what I’m doing. I dearly love you, and think of you as a remarkable person, with exceptional giftings, and I would never attack or disrespect you, so please understand my perspective as I share my thoughts, per your request.
Sincerely,
seeker83