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Offline BiynaYahu  
#1 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 9:27:26 AM(UTC)
BiynaYahu
Joined: 4/5/2008(UTC)
Posts: 314
Man
Location: British Columbia, Canada

Peace and wellbeing everyone,

Something I've always struggled with in my walk with God has been the fact that I don't have a father with whom I have a good relationship. I have a step father who supports me physically, but is n alcoholic jerk, and I have a biological father who wants little or nothing to do with me. I've never felt that I've received the proper emotional support, or encouragement of my gifts from anyone in my family. I love my family, and I understand that I've been treated the way I have not out of malicious will, but do to their own emotional and intellectual damage. Only, I don't understand how I'm supposed to form a proper relationship with Yahuwah when I don't know what a relationship like that is like, or even how to talk to a parent who is supportive. (Most of my discussions with my family are fights or arguments) In my family everything is a competition, and the only thing worth noticing about others is when they fail. I know that this post is bereft of a solid point, but I know no other way to voice my concern.

Your brother,
Michael Browell
Someone who does not dearly love or welcome, entertain, look fondly upon or cherish people with strong affection or highly esteem them with great favour, goodwill or benevolence, be loyal to or greatly adore them has not known or understood, perceived or realized, noticed or discerned, discovered or observed, experienced or ascertained, learned about or distinguished, comprehended, acknowledged or recognized God*, for concerning this, God* is and exists as brotherly love and affection, good will, esteem and benevolence.
Offline sirgodfrey  
#2 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 6:55:57 PM(UTC)
sirgodfrey
Joined: 10/2/2008(UTC)
Posts: 512
Location: North Carolina

Not sure I have a very specific response to your concern other than that I can identify with you mate. My biological father wasn't a part of my life for over a decade because of my parents' divorce when I was young. One of my concerns is that I feel as though I've talked to Yah on many occasions without hearing back from Him which is pretty frustrating. Thinking back on the times in which He did share something with me has provided me with some consolation, but I can't help but think that in a relationship communication is very important - and that I don't get to communicate with Yah as I can with a human friend face to face. Hearing or knowing that He's proud of me because of something I did, or just a word of encouragement of some sort would be some major motivation and uplifting in such hard and depressing times. I don't know. I guess I'm just expressing some thoughts as you did. I hear you though dude.
Offline BiynaYahu  
#3 Posted : Tuesday, November 16, 2010 8:14:05 PM(UTC)
BiynaYahu
Joined: 4/5/2008(UTC)
Posts: 314
Man
Location: British Columbia, Canada

It's nice at least to know someone understands.
Someone who does not dearly love or welcome, entertain, look fondly upon or cherish people with strong affection or highly esteem them with great favour, goodwill or benevolence, be loyal to or greatly adore them has not known or understood, perceived or realized, noticed or discerned, discovered or observed, experienced or ascertained, learned about or distinguished, comprehended, acknowledged or recognized God*, for concerning this, God* is and exists as brotherly love and affection, good will, esteem and benevolence.
Offline atsclock01  
#4 Posted : Friday, April 1, 2011 5:46:08 PM(UTC)
atsclock01
Joined: 3/30/2011(UTC)
Posts: 2
Location: USA

love, trust, acceptance and sweetness from the son that makes a father in good relationship.

Thank You!

Edited by moderator Sunday, April 3, 2011 4:46:53 AM(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

Offline Richard  
#5 Posted : Saturday, April 2, 2011 5:57:34 PM(UTC)
Richard
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Hi, Michael.

I was the fourth of five children and was actually the baby of the family for eight years. For whatever reason(s), my siblings blacklisted me from day one as far as I can remember. Even as adults our relationships have remained strained. My parents were well-respected, popular Methodists; Dad was the choir director and Mom was his organist. I remember at my dad's funeral - where my wife, our six children, and I sat by ourselves among the general public in the packed-out sanctuary - I was listening with amazement to all these people describe this loving, giving man whom I never knew, whom I can not once recall ever hugging me as a child, or encouraging me, or showing anything but contempt for me.

One night, a few years before he passed away in 1988, I had a horrible dream which, when I awoke at 2 AM, I realized was a memory. I woke her who was my wife at the time and said, "Go into the kitchen and, when I tell you to, pick up the telephone extension. You've got to hear this." Then I called my mother. When her phone rang I called to her who was my wife to pick up. My mother answered and I said, "Momma, it's Richard. I know it's late, and no, I'm not drunk or anything. Listen, when I was about two or so you and Daddy threw me out of a boat into Lake Texoma to drown me, didn't you. I just had a dream where I remember being terrified and the looks of horror on y'all's faces when I came dog-paddling back to the boat." There was silence for several long moments, then my mother whined, "Well, Richard, you know you were our fourth child in four years ..." I hung up. My ex came back into the bedroom shaking her head. "Wow. She didn't even deny it! Now I know why you insisted on teaching each of the kids to swim before they were 2!"

Nevertheless, I too was a complete failure as a dad and have only a cursory relationship at best with the 4 of my 6 children who even still talk to me.

So I don't know diddly squat about either side of having a father/son relationship. Therefore, I look carefully at how Yahushua interacted with Yahuwah, and I try to understand how Abraham and Yizac (sp) dealt with one another. I let the Torah explain to me how children are to respect and obey their parents, and I realize how seriously evil and unacceptable rebellion is.

There are many of us, I am sure, who do not know what a family ought to be like. Let's do this, then. Let's each pray for one another, asking our faithful heavenly Father to open our understanding and enable us to know Him as He wants us to.

I love you for opening this door, Michael. Hopefully a bunch of us will experience healing in our psyches as well as in our hearts and minds.

Richard
Offline Richard  
#6 Posted : Saturday, April 2, 2011 7:09:53 PM(UTC)
Richard
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I just noticed the original posting dates. I feel so stupid!

Who is this who is spamming the forum for synchronized clocks?!

I'm telling!
Offline James  
#7 Posted : Sunday, April 3, 2011 4:46:40 AM(UTC)
James
Joined: 10/23/2007(UTC)
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Location: Texas

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flintface wrote:
Let's each pray for one another, asking our faithful heavenly Father to open our understanding and enable us to know Him as He wants us to.


Perfectly stated Richard.
Don't take my word for it, Look it up.

“The truth is not for all men but only for those who seek it.” ― Ayn Rand
Offline FredSnell  
#8 Posted : Sunday, April 3, 2011 4:56:10 AM(UTC)
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Richard, so sorry you had a man like that in your life. In my past I'd say let's dig that sob up and chisel m'fer in his skull, but I'm learning that we must forgive, even if it's for our own sanity. Do know this man, your real Father is watching and supporting your efforts even if you don't realize it at this moment.
I had a man in my life that came through the depression era and thought every penny needed accounting. He was a taskmaster, but it did build character for this world we are in. He didn't apologize for much, as he always thought himself right. Until he became invalid and I witnessed a different man then. Maybe once we are flat on our backs we realize we do need others. And that's bc we would just die without help form others.
With your story though, how does a youngster grow into honoring his folks when they were such bastards themselves? I struggle with that when I myself witness neglect in our society towards children.
My only feeling these days is that this place is just going to crumble rapidly and we will all have our foundations shakin soon enough. It just kills me to hear a story like yours though. You had yours shakin from the start and that's a hell of a way for a yougster to get his start. You will be forever in my thanks and prayers always. Love ya brother, and keep forgiving your enemies and confound them with joy.
Fred

Offline Richard  
#9 Posted : Sunday, April 3, 2011 6:52:47 AM(UTC)
Richard
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One of my favorite all-time Scriptures is Psalm 27:10:

Dawid, the sweet psalmist of Yisrael wrote:
When my mother and my father have forsaken me,
Then does Yahuwah take me in.


After that, everything changes (if we let it).

Thank you, brothers, for the kind words.
Offline Striver  
#10 Posted : Wednesday, April 6, 2011 1:31:51 PM(UTC)
Striver
Joined: 4/6/2011(UTC)
Posts: 24
Location: Missouri

Hey Flint

I really enjoy your site and go there often. Your story brings a thought(s) that has recurred to me often. I would like to ask our Father, when did you know me? Did you know it was you I was calling to, even though I didn't know your name?

Surely he knows us before we know him, don't you think? I believe he has been in my life helping me and keeping me from harm since I can remember. So, was that really you doing the dog paddle or was it your Father?

Much love.

Offline Striver  
#11 Posted : Wednesday, April 6, 2011 1:59:24 PM(UTC)
Striver
Joined: 4/6/2011(UTC)
Posts: 24
Location: Missouri

You know what would rally be cool is if you told me you felt His hand under your tummy!
Offline Richard  
#12 Posted : Wednesday, April 6, 2011 5:24:02 PM(UTC)
Richard
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Striver, thank you for the kind words.

Striver wrote:
Surely he knows us before we know him, don't you think? I believe he has been in my life helping me and keeping me from harm since I can remember. So, was that really you doing the dog paddle or was it your Father?


Whether He actually knew me then or not, He was definitely seeing to it that I was protected from death. I believe He wanted to know me, and that He was finally able to move me into a place where I was teachable enough to let Him open my understanding. Prior to that, the heavenly herder(s) He had appointed to keep me had his/their hands full just keeping me alive and uninjured. I have been places and done things most have not, and by all odds I really should be six feet under by now. "It is because of His compassions that we are not consumed. His mercy is new every day," declared YermiYahu, or Jeremiah. That is certainly true.

I honestly cannot tell you what I felt physically that night, Striver. I only recalled my sense of panic and confusion. One of the largest blessings I have ever received was the gift of His love being spread throughout my heart, for that enabled me to forgive my Mom and Dad once and for all time for any and all trespasses they might have committed against me. I know that, because I forgave them of their crimes against me, intentional and unintentional, He forgave them of all their crimes against me. And with that, I am free inside. I am free to rejoice and to play with all my might before my true Daddy, Him with Whom I will be spending eternity among siblings who love me and accept me as one of their own.

And that's good. Really good.

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