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Going it alone or get married
 Joined: 10/3/2007(UTC) Posts: 1,191  Location: São Paulo, Brazil Was thanked: 3 time(s) in 2 post(s)
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One that crossed my mind is that people say Paul teaches against marriage and family but a few passages by Yahshua also seem to encourage going it alone, for example Matthew 19, notably verses 10-12, and Luke 14, notably verses 14 and 26-27. Verse 14 of Luke 14 could be read with Deuteronomy 24:5 which states a newly wed man shall please his wife for a period of one year (and people say Torah is irrelevant???), in this case the newly wed man is using Torah as a means to not attending the Banquet or it could be that the person is concerned with worldy affairs and therefore not putting any effort into their relationship with Yahweh, hence missing the Banquet, in which 1 Corinthians 7:33 states a similar interpretation.
Also, in Matthew 12:46-50 for a brief second Yahshua seems to deny Miryam as his mother, saying His spiritual family is more important than His earthly family. In this case it too would encourage not focusing on one's earthly family but rather on doing the will of the Father. Hmmm... what is the will of the Father in this case? In context it is all about Yahshua healing on the Sabbath, driving out demons, not sinning against the Spirit and giving an account of one's works before Yahweh, in other words doing good.
Does the Tanakh and Yahshua's words encourage marriage or does it seem to rather encourage going it alone (if a person can accept going alone, which seems to be what Matthew 19 is on about)?
Let's pretend the year is 2020, would you encourage a young couple to get married and have children?
Is it a case of "well, it all really depends"?
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 Joined: 7/4/2007(UTC) Posts: 1,470 Location: England Was thanked: 1 time(s) in 1 post(s)
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I think the answer is - "it's down to you".
I love the Torah's instructions on what to do after you get married.
Marriage is a picture - but you don't have to be married, and you don't have to not be married. I am sure marriage is more naturally encouraged as that is how we are designed.
Would I encourage a young couple to get married? Well I suppose that depends on your view of what marriage is - for me its not a typical church wedding or ceremony. I believe Marriage is sex - 2 becoming one flesh - (or maybe even the offspring of that union - 2 becoming 1 - a new human...) There is obviously a public declaration, but in my view you could do that by email, facebook or twitter if you wanted lol. Now that's a cheap wedding!
So as for that question - yea probably. People have lives to lead - if they have no interest in Yah then they have to get on with what they have. If they have relationship then it's pretty much the same result no? I am pretty positive the judgement for the child falls on the parents shoulders, so if you are a parent who is following Yah you will just all go.
Would be interesting to hear peoples thoughts on this. |
Signature Updated! Woo that was old... |
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 Joined: 10/23/2007(UTC) Posts: 2,616 Location: Texas Thanks: 5 times
Was thanked: 216 time(s) in 149 post(s)
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I don't think marriage is a necessity, but speaking from personal experience marriage is a great thing for understanding relationship. Marriage really forces you to to put someone else either before you or at the least on the same level as you. It makes it where you really can't be selfish, at least not if you want it to work.
I think you can get that from other places, and if you never meet someone you connect with, you can still come to understand it, but having that relationship is an experience that you can learn from. Marriage teaches you about relationships. Linking back to our other thread on female input, women and men bring different perspectives on things, and so being together we help each other understand. You can have this with out marriage, perhaps with a sister or close friend, but marriage is probably the easiest way.
Marriage like having children teaches us about relationships, and the type of relationship that Yah want's with us. You can experience a familial relationship with out being married and having children. I think it all comes down to you. Yahuweh is pro family, but that doesn't necessarily mean biological family, I have friends who I am much closer with than some of my biological family. |
Don't take my word for it, Look it up.
“The truth is not for all men but only for those who seek it.” ― Ayn Rand |
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 Joined: 7/6/2007(UTC)
Posts: 114
Location: Salford, UK
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I've been reading chapter 3 of the owners manual this week about marriage and its been really interesting to think about marriage as a picture of Yahweh and his bride Israel and then Ekklesia. Yah doesn't just make marriage sacred because its good for our physical health and emotional wellbeing, but because its a really amazing picture of His relationship with us. We see all around us marriages failing, unfaithfulness and sexual immorality, and the result that has on society is devastating. Its a pretty amazing picture of the state of society's relationship with Yahweh. People don't take their earthly relationships seriously enough - the Torah instruction to stay home for a year is amazing - I don't think it means we stop working for Yah but that we don't take our marriage lightly. When we take our marriage for granted it quickly starts to fail and the same is true of our relationship with Yah -if we dont invest the time and build our relationship it won't grow.
Would I recommend marriage to someone in 2020? What's scary is my daughter will be old enough to marry in 2020! If she met a man who loved her and encouraged her relationship with Yah would I advise her not to marry because time was short? No I'd recommend it. Its through marriage that we learn about our relationship with Yah. Besides which, in my experience when you find "the one" you cant stop thinking about them; Denying yourself from a relationship wouldn't really help your relationship with Yah or your ministry.
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Joined: 10/3/2007(UTC) Posts: 1,191 Location: São Paulo, Brazil Was thanked: 3 time(s) in 2 post(s)
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You guys pretty much covered my thoughts on this topic. From marriage we gain personal experience and can relate more to God's relationship with us. I've certainly learnt what it means to give up on my selfish needs and put more focus on to pleasing my wife and kids. In fact it feels as if I've lost out on my youthful "twenties," but then again if I think spiritually then I've actually gained deeper insight into God's relationship with us, which in heavenly matters is far more important than temporary and earthly pleasures.
But what amazes me is that with loving my family I don't lose track of my relationship with Yahweh, but in fact gain more understanding, that's if my mind is set on Him through it all. I too like the picture of family and how it relates to the bigger picture, our family of Yahweh.
It really is a pity people don't take Torah seriously. What woman doesn't want a God-given command for their husband to please them, and for a whole year long?
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 Joined: 3/29/2010(UTC)
Posts: 18
Location: Connecticut
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Not sure how much you remember about being young and in love, but I don't think that anybody's advice could have torn me away from my wife. . . then or now. Even a minute or second would be worth it. Then if we got raptured, what a better wedding present could YHWH give us. Now that would be a honeymoon!!!
Jumping into our story well into our Pessach vigil, seems like a great way to remember some of the miracles we have lived.
Our story starts just over 10 years and 3 kids ago. . .
I was walking through the mall and I saw the most beautiful woman in the world. Now a lot of people say that, but in my case it's true. . . she is afterall a Paulistana. I was so stunned, that I couldn't bring myself to speak to her. I went around and around the building but alas, my courage was weak and I scurried to my car. As I was driving away, I thought to myself:
"Self- this may be the only time you'll ever see her and then what??? You'll spend the rest of your life knowing that you were too much of a coward to even talk to her?" "What if this is it??? I'll never forgive you for not finding the courage to talk to her." Or something like that. The conversation went on for about 20 miles, (34k) so I'm sure there was a lot more to it.
Anyway, I did find something of a spine way down there and turned around to go find her. I wish I could take credit for finding the courage, but in truth, I was compelled to return. I wandered around the mall until miraculously I FOUND HER AGAIN...
Something held her there, perhaps the same thing that had brought me back. I nervously approached her and started speaking. I'm not sure what actually came out of my mouth since I could only stare at her eyes and watch her watching me try to string together a sentence. Somehow, I managed to ask her out for a date, but I'm not sure how I did that. Not that you all know me, but this is something I would never do.
Little did I realize that earlier that day, this very same woman had just made a deal with YHWH that she wasn't going to try to find a husband or boyfriend, but that she would live for YHWH. . . unless He brought the man to her and gave her a miraculous sign. She reasoned that it should be just like in the bible, like Itzchak and Rivkah (Ex. 24). YHWH doesn't make mistakes and there are no coincidences.
On the first day we saw each other (December 12), we knew we would marry. The miraculous sign turned out to be a wedding band (with no name engraved) we found on our second date. I didn't know anything about her promise, and I didn't really believe in God anyway but we were married six weeks later. Most of the delay was in making travel arrangements. We got married with no blessings from our families or friends and had to use the chapel witness. Perhaps that's what YHWH wanted for us to be alone. We had only each other in this world, and didn't want anything else. That's how we should feel about YHWH- sell everything to get the Pearl.
I always loved the passion my wife had for YHWH and admired her for it (even when I didn't believe myself). I was brought up with the church and synagogue in my life, but had turned away from it. The marriage analogy that YHWH uses is powerful and striking; when I think about how my relationship with him is supposed to be like the relationship with my wife. I would never consider falling away from her, but I had from Him. My wife was my last calling and my last chance at salvation. The miracle is that even before I loved him, He loved me. . . enough to show me it in a way I could understand.
When I consider and struggle with my relationship with YHWH (Israel), I think about my marriage and the intense love I have always felt for my wife. When I feel my relationship with YHWH turning lukewarm, I recollect my first true love. It's no coincidence that she brought me down the narrow path.
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