Thanks everyone!
As I have been thinking about this, a quote a video DJ used to end with every night on a music video program I used to watch comes to mind:
"Great minds talk about idea, average minds talk about events, and small minds talk about people"
When I pondered this, it was about how great someone's mind was, but about how close the conversation was to "shamar". When far away from shamar - the conversation is on people - "Moses said this, David said that, Paul said the other" - it all revolves around picking your favorite guy and going to bat for what he/she said or basing decisions on what he/she said. While on the surface it isn't bad and definitely not a bad start, but if we stay there we get off the path quite easily. Mainly because all people are flawed and every person missed the mark at sometime. So, following a person is always going to get you off the path, even if their intentions were noble.
Close to observation - the focus goes to events or "doing". What type of shofar to blow, how to prepare the lamb for Passover, exactly what calendar to use for Trumpets, do you have to take out all the leaven literally or is not consuming it enough? Again, it's okay to visit here, but if you stay you easily come to religious fundamentalism.
Finally, it come to talking about ideas. I think this is shamar/observation. Stepping back and seeking to understand why Yahowah said what He did. While this is where shamar should lead us, it isn't a comfortable place to be. People like certainty and clarification and when you focus on the ideas behind why Yah said what He said - you change your mind a lot. When I truly "shamar" I struggle a lot! It is uncomfortable, time consuming, and really hard. However, it is where I am most fulfilled. When I come out on the other side knowing "why" I believe the answer is "a" and not "b" I feel better in my journey. However, the journey becomes more lonely because the entire reason we can talk about ideas is because there is disagreement. If everyone had the same idea there would be no need for conversation. But, it is uncomfortable understanding one way and everyone else seems to be understanding another and you are all supposed to be on the same path. Is it the same journey?
But, in this confusion I was dealing with - I backed myself out the path and started back at the beginning of our "great mind" journey and I went to people. Moses had the pure, unadulterated Towrah - and more than once He went to Yahowah for clarification, more information, etc. So, if Moses, with it all laid out before him uncorrupted over the passage of 4,000 still had questions, of course I am going to have a multitude of questions myself. Yahowah didn't respond to Moses by saying "Look dude, I gave you the document - read it and leave me alone"; He answered Moses. So, He will answer me. Another thing I learned is that while I should go to others for conversation, discussion, and learning from one another on the Torah - I seek clarification on what Yahowah meant from Him alone. All any person has to offer is conversation about people, events, and their own ideals - it is Yahowah who has the clarification and prefect understanding.
Okay, I walked more and went to events. Passover was done several different ways - if varied greatly from the first Passover in Egypt, to the ones in the wilderness, to the ones in Jerusalem. It was clearly being observed quite differently from the time of Moses to when Yahowasha' came to serve as the Passover Lamb. I see nothing in the Towrah where Yahowah came to scold people on "how" they were observing the Feasts, only when they didn't observe them at all were their issues. I mean, does He really expect me to observe Passover the same way it was observed 4,000 or even 2,000 years ago? That is impossible and no loving Father would be before His children an impossible task. It appears to me that "how" you do isn't all that important compared to that you do. Of course we can see when Yahowah told Moses to kill a man for "kindling fire" - but we don't even know what that meant? While would be equivalent to "kindling a fire" in 2013? I have an Amazon Kindle Fire - should I be stoned if I power it up on the Sabbath? No, that seems absurd. There is just no way to know what can and cannot be done with certainty on the Feast days in 2013 because 2013 is so absolutely different from -2013, or 4,000 years ago when the Towrah was given. If someone wants to go out a buy a live lamb and keep it in the home and slaughter it just right - I think Yah believes this to be perfectly fine. If someone wants to go buy some ground lamb and make lamb patties and grill them to perfection - I think Yah considers this okay as well? Certainly He knows 99.9% of people in the US have no access to a live lamb and I would be willing to bet the numbers are in the high 90's as to the percentage of folks in Israel are close to the same.
That brought me back to Trumpets, like James I saw 3 different dates when it "could" have been and I just chose one. I don't have a great answer as to why; I pretty much just knew I wanted to observe the Feast with my family, to wait in anticipation and celebration for the promises of Yah that He is faithful to fulfill at His appointed time. Not because someone told me to do it on that day, not because there was a ritual I wanted to fulfill, but simply because the ideas I felt Yah was trying to share through His Torah was to show up and He will take care of the rest. I actually think the uncertainty of dates is intentional - if there is a potential perfect "keeper of time" that keeper of time could be corrupted. There are humans all over the world and 3 - 7 living in space at any given time - we will all see a different sliver of the moon. How wonderful :). If I miss my date, someone else will be there celebrating - representing the family just at the right time. For everyone else, we will be counted as "present", mainly because Yah will have a record of our conversations, a knowledge of our inquiries to Him for clarification, and an appreciation of the fact that we tried. Just like all those who went out looking for perfect lambs that had an unseen blemish weren't killed or rejected. All those looking for the perfect rams horn only to have one that wouldn't blow weren't rejected. All those looking for a sliver of moon only to have it covered by clouds or a storm weren't rejected.
While the "doing" is fun, it can't be about the doing. There are too many things to get wrong - how could Yahowah keep score? "No man knowing the date nor the hour" has taken on a whole new meaning for me. Tonight, when my family and I get our Trumpet part started I will share with my kids the fact that we may be doing it "wrong", be off by a day or two, but that is okay; what Yahowah is looking for is that we are present.
Thanks guy!